Week 18 - One Second Long

One Second Long

Matthew Ryan Fischer

Fuck.

Why do I… Why can’t I…

Fuck.

Fucking Goddamn. Kill me. Kill me now. Kill me please. Just kill me and make it end.

What happened? Everything is a mess. Everything is a blur. What happened? What went wrong? And why can’t I see? My eyes. My eyes... Did I go blind? Am I blind? Ugh... It’s a blur. It’s all a blur. It’s just a blur. Maybe I just need to focus.

But on what? All I feel is pain. I can’t focus. Not on that.

What? Happened?

I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t remember.

Goddamn it. Why do I hurt so badly?

Oh my chest. It hurts so bad.

Snow. It’s so cold. There was snow. I remember that... It’s so cold and there was snow. There is snow. I can feel the snow. The wind is all around and it’s snowing.

Ice. I remember ice. I swerved. Why did I swerve?

There was... another car. Another car coming at me. And the ice. They swerved or I swerved and ended up here.

What happened to the other car? What happened to the other driver? Oh God, I hope they’re not dead. Fuck. I hope they’re not dead because of me.

This is it. This is the rest of my life. Trapped. Bleeding. Upside down and broken.

I can’t tell. I can’t feel my legs. I can feel a vague, awful numbness all around, closing in. My muscles are weak. And it’s so cold.

I hope I’m not paralyzed. I hope I won’t bleed out before someone finds me. Are they even looking? Does anyone even know the accident happened? Jesus, that’s a terrible thought. I could just hang here, upside down, waiting.

Waiting.                 

Is this it? Is this—