Week 47 - The Chain of Pain

The Chain of Pain

Matthew Ryan Fischer

Ramsey was bitter and jaded and a romantic and an optimist. He was all sorts of fucked up when it came to love and life and he loved and hated that. Sometimes he leaned more one way than the other, but that depended on the day and on the mood.

Ramsey was preoccupied with the concepts of love. He thought about it most every day. It didn’t matter if he had a particular girl in mind. It could be someone he saw once on the subway or it could be that one girl from that one time in college or it could be the relationship he was currently in. It didn’t matter. Love, the lack thereof, and all the failures in-between. He was a broken record, scratching over and over and over the same old itch.   

Why did love always fail? Did it have to? Always? Was it just him or was it everyone? Maybe he was a magnet. Or maybe he was always looking for perfection, or worrying so much about what could have been or might be that he always missed out on what could have actually worked. It was a terrible terrible set of circumstance.

Ramsey didn’t hold himself accountable. Not all the way anyway. He had a theory, and he was certainly a part of it, but he for sure wasn’t the catalyst or main reason for failure. At least not by his own assessment he wasn’t.

Ramsey blamed the past and the future and the interlinking locks that bound the two together. He blamed the bonds between us. He blamed the invisible chain... The Chain of Pain, as he called it. The whole world was connected by their past lovers and that was why things got so messed up.

Ramsey had a terrible superpower – not a superpower like a superhero superpower. He wasn’t about to fight crime or anything like that. That was part of what made it so terrible. The other awful part was that it was a fairly depressing and self-destructive superpower. Ramsey’s power was that every time he kissed a girl, he could see everyone they had ever been with…  Who they had dated, touched, loved, held… He saw everything. Everything. Or maybe it was all his imagination. But he didn’t think so. He thought for sure that he knew just exactly who what when where and why. He saw their chain of pain and could count every single last link. No matter how big or small the relationship, no matter how serious or trivial. He knew it, he saw it, he felt it. Over and over. He relived all of it.

It was a terrible burden. Terrible.

Week 46 - The San Diego Connection

The San Diego Connection

Matthew Ryan Fischer

Saturday Afternoon...

“What’s in San Diego?”

“Do you want to go to this party or not?”

“Just tell me what’s in San Diego and why it’s so important to you.”

“You don’t have to go to this. I can go without you.”

“It’s a girl.”

“It’s a party.”

“It’s a girl. Say it’s a girl. I know it’s a girl. Just say it’s a girl. Tell me I’m right.”

“Eddie...”

“Ramsey.”

“You are super annoying, you know that?”

“There are girls up here. There are girls all around. We don’t need to drive two hours to get you a girl. I can get you a girl with one phone call. Say the word and we’re set up. Tonight. Here. In town. No driving.”

“Can you be cool about this? Just for tonight. Can I trust you do that for me?”

“If you admit that I’m right. “Eddie is right.” Just say that. Once. You can whisper it if it makes it easier.”

“Why would that make it any easier?”

“I don’t know. I was trying to spare your feelings.”

“You are officially uninvited.”

“You need my car.”

“I need a car. I’ll call someone else.”

“No you won’t. Besides, you’ve already told me where you’re going.”

“Not where the party’s at.”

“Yeah, but we know all the same people. I’ll figure it out anyway. You’re not going anywhere without me. So you might as well tell me who she is and why.”

“Would you just be cool about this? Please? Just be cool. Be cool.”

“You’re a sucker. And this girl will own you after this.”

“Can we at least get moving?”

“You drive two hours for a girl in another city? She owns you. You are her possession.”

“I can see this is going to be an incredibly fun drive.”

“Oh, totally.”

It was a two hour car ride to San Diego. And that wasn’t accounting for traffic. It was going to be a long drive. But Ramsey had a lot to think about. He needed the time. He needed to make a few decisions. He only hoped that Eddie would shut up long enough to let him think.

Mandy Mandy Mandy... Eddie was right – it had all been about a girl. Amanda, but more popularly known as Mandy. Mandy lived just north of San Diego and Ramsey had met her one night when she had come north to attend a pub crawl birthday celebration for a mutual friend. Over the last few years Ramsey and Mandy had developed a fondness for one another that walked that thin line between friendship and sexual attraction.

There had been many nights when they had crossed back and forth, breaking that line many times. They had great conversations. They had great chemistry. They were old friends from the minute they met. But they were two hours apart and lived in different cities, and not much was going to happen when they only saw each other a couple of times a year. And so things remained casual and sporadic at best.

Because she was intelligent, attractive and funny, Mandy wasn’t often single. But when she was, she and Ramsey usually had an uncanny knack for running into each other.

Mandy had gone out of her way to tell all their mutual friends about the party this weekend without actually telling Ramsey until well after he would have already known about it. When she did call him, he of course already knew he was going. He could only assume that she already knew that he would already know and that he would have already decided whether to attend or not. He could only assume that she would have thought all this through herself and had some great reason for jumping through extra hoops. Why go to the extra trouble? Ramsey assumed it was possibly because she didn’t want to come right out and say that she wanted him to be there. Whenever he was there, they hooked up. Whenever she was recently single, she found a way to get him to San Diego. They didn’t ever come out and talk honestly or earnestly, but when they were in each other’s arms, they certainly behaved that way.

He was going to San Diego because that was what they did. It was their way.

But this time, Ramsey had a few extra thoughts rolling around in the back of his mind.

He was going to San Diego because he had decided he did indeed want to talk honestly and earnestly this time around. Mandy was far too fun and far too important to keep things going the way they were going. Ramsey didn’t know what he meant to do about two hours and one hundred plus miles, but he figured he would figure something out when the time came to make decisions.

Sunday Morning...

Ramsey sat down on the curb and allowed himself to reconsider his various woes.

It had been a long night. And incredibly short at the same time. Time flies that way. It was not at all what he had expected when he had set out the day before. Ramsey had come to San Diego seeking answers, but what he had found were more questions, more regrets, more angst. But he had more immediate problems to consider. He was one hundred and twenty-six miles from Los Angeles, it was mostly dark out, he had lost his friends, and had no idea how he was going to get home.

Where were his friends? He didn’t know. What was he supposed to do? Wait? The sun was barely up. Soon it would be morning. People would be out – walking their dogs, on their way to church, or brunch, or whatever it was that people in San Diego did on early Sunday mornings. But they would be there. And they would look at him and wonder just what was wrong with this poor man, sitting on the side of the road, all alone. He was hardly homeless and certainly didn’t fit the general beach bum stereotype, and yet that was what he had become. He didn’t want to wait. He didn’t want to sit. What he really wanted was his bed and an extended amount of time so that he could sleep. But that wasn’t going to happen any time soon. It was going to be a long day and his head hurt and he hadn’t slept. He certainly was in no mood to be judged by strangers. But what else was he supposed to do except sit and wait?

He couldn’t go back to the house. Not after last night. No. Not back to the house. That was not an option.

He had called cellphone after cellphone, but it was early and no one was picking up yet. Asleep probably. Or otherwise occupied. And knowing the sort of old and tired battery he kept, he didn’t want to make too many calls anyway. Better to sit and wait and have an option of making another call rather than sit and wait with a dead battery. He didn’t carry change. Who carried change anymore? And even if he had, were there any payphones anywhere anymore? He didn’t know.

Maybe he would have to sit and wait all day.

He should have driven. He should have had a car. It was ridiculous that he didn’t. LA was a driving town and SoCal was a driving lifestyle. He should have had a car.

Maybe he could walk somewhere. He knew there was a train that ran from San Diego to LA. He had no idea where the stations were. But maybe he could walk somewhere and find something. But he didn’t know where he really was right now and the idea of walking somewhere seemed ridiculous.

Somewhere in between...

Ramsey sat on the back porch with Mandy. Somewhere in the night they had both consumed a great deal of alcohol. Somewhere in the night they had gone to the beach and there had been a bonfire. Somewhere in the night Eddie and several other friends had disappeared with several of the women who had been at the party. Ramsey wasn’t entirely clear on all the details. That was happening a lot when he went out partying with his friends. More and more often. Another problem to consider on another night. Tonight, when he could, he was focused on the girl in front of him.

They had talked. She had offered him a drink when he first arrived, along with an awkward hug. She smiled and looked happy, but she was nervous. Ramsey didn’t know what it meant, but maybe she was feeling what he was feeling. Maybe she wanted something more as well. Maybe the extra libations were one way to cut through the nervousness and not have to face reality with full focus.

“Should we kiss? For old times’ sake?”

“Or for future times’ sake.”

“Maybe we should just kiss and let the time work itself out.”

They both leaned in. Ramsey told himself he was going to enjoy the hell out of this. It was what he wanted. It was all he had been thinking about. It was a first step, an open door, the beginning of something bright and new and special.

That was what Ramsey wanted. That was what he was hoping for. That wasn’t really what he got.

There was something perfunctory and routine to their kissing. They had kissed many times before, and he would have never thought of it as routine or perfunctory before now.

He wasn’t sure what was off. He told himself he had been building things up too much. He had been putting too much pressure on this moment to deliver, to be important. He was nervous. She was nervous. It was a nervous, passionless kiss. It was impossible to get lost in. All he could do was think. And so he thought. He always thought. Too much. He couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t shut it off.

Ramsey knew a little too much about Amanda. And a little went far too far sometimes. He knew her last three boyfriends. One of which was formerly a very good friend of his. That was problematic. Ramsey didn’t like to think about such things, especially at times like these, but he couldn’t help himself.

Kissing Mandy was like pressing pause and being forced to think about all the men she had ever kissed before him, before this moment. That was not a pleasant thing. Suddenly they weren’t a cute couple. They weren’t beginning things. They were just links in a very long chain. A chain of pain… A chain that linked to too many places and too many other people. Suddenly there was nothing romantic about the moment or image of her at all. His imagination cut both ways and right now it was making a mockery of his hopes and dreams.

Back to Sunday Morning...

It was an unsatisfying morning which fit perfectly with the unsatisfying night he had just had. Ramsey couldn’t sleep. And he couldn’t stay in her house. He had been drunk and disappointed which ended up making him frustrated and upset. He couldn’t stay in the house. Not after all that had happened. So at some point he got up and started walking. And he had ended up here. He didn’t know the street names. He vaguely knew which way was the beach and which way was the highway. He wasn’t exactly clear on much else.

Mandy had been nervous all night. He could tell. He just didn’t realize what it meant. He was nervous because he wanted to talk to her about something. He had assumed she was nervous for the same reasons. In a way, he was right – she was nervous because she had something to tell him. But her message couldn’t have been further from his.

There was no goodbye. There was no need for that. Ramsey shut up and shut himself off and went through the motions. There was no value in spending one last night with her, and yet that was what he found himself doing. A painful masochistic act, killing his emotions inside, and shutting himself down inside and just letting his body take whatever it could get. If he thought about it, he would be embarrassed, so he tried not to think. A week ago it would have been fine. A month from now, it might not hurt. But right now, right when he had wanted something so different, it was like stepping on a little bit of his soul. And he had done it. Willingly. Because it was all he could get and if that was the case, then why not take it?

But somewhere in the early hours of the morning, it had been too much. Broken inside, crumbling emotions, exhaustion kicking in, but unable to sleep, and delirious from too much poison, he had climbed out of bed and wandered off into the night. He couldn’t stay there. It hurt too much to look at her. It hurt too much to think.

Eddie was nowhere, but somewhere else. Ramsey didn’t know how he was going to find him. He wasn’t sure he wanted to. If only he had driven. If only he had a car. Then everything might have been different. He certainly had no desire to sit for two hours and recount his evening. He had no desire to talk to anyone at all. He just wanted to be home.

Ramsey thought about walking somewhere, anywhere, but knew that wasn’t going to be an option, realizing he had no idea where his left shoe was...

Week 45 - Dance Hall Dreaming

Dance Hall Dreaming

Matthew Ryan Fischer

Love at first sight? A million and one strangers and some sort of magical soulmate is supposed to materialize? And you’re supposed to be able to recognize them?  Seems like a silly notion made up by hopeless romantic types. But when you get down to it, what’s so wrong with that?

Ramsey didn’t openly admit he believed in or even thought about love at first sight. He was too cool for that. Too jaded. Too cynical. Too much the realist. Or maybe that was just his outward persona. He certainly knew what he felt the first time he saw her. He knew what he felt the first time he saw any woman he ended up in a relationship with. That first glance, that first flutter, that first burst of nervousness. He could remember their smile and he could remember what he felt deep inside. It had happened enough times before and he was sure it would again.

Maybe that wasn’t love at first sight. Maybe that was lustful attraction or some biochemical response to the geometry of another person’s facial proportions. Ramsey didn’t know. He was all too aware of all these things, and he thought about all of them far too often.  He had been trying to push it deep down inside. He didn’t want to think about those things all the time. He didn’t want to obsess. He wasn’t in the mood to add to his stress or anxieties, and she certainly didn’t need to go adding to his neuroses.

But then when he first saw her, he instantaneously knew he was ready to add to that deep set of neuroses. A moment earlier he wouldn’t have been. A moment earlier, he would have had no interest in the idea of diving back into dating and opening up hard emotions and feelings. A moment earlier, the door was slammed and locked. A moment earlier didn’t matter. A moment earlier was the past and the past was nothing but a whisper now. The moment, the present, the feeling, the future – these were the things that were there now. These were the things that filled Ramsey’s mind. All that despite the fact that he wasn’t sure if he believed in love at first sight.

He saw her on the dance floor. He didn’t know her name, but he knew. What did he know? He knew something alright. He knew she caught his eye and he was pretty sure she had seen him and he was pretty sure she had reacted as well. Just a glimpse. Just a bit of a gesture, a twinge of muscle and a smile crept out only to disappear an instant later. Just a bit of motion and her dancing body turned to reveal more of itself. Just a moment. Just a bit.

But then the moment was gone. Her back to him, her face hidden. What had he really seen? Nothing. It could have been in his head, imagined, a wish of what he wanted it to have been.

She danced the other way, further and further. Maybe he was supposed to chase her, but if so, she hadn’t given him any indication to do so.

If only he had the courage to walk across the dance floor and say (or do) something (anything).

What? What was he supposed to do? He didn’t know. There had been plenty of moments before in the past where he had known what to do. But courage was in short supply tonight. Not always and not often, but tonight anyway. Not that Ramsey was going to admit that to anyone, especially not himself.

But trying and talking meant opening up to risk, and Ramsey wasn’t really interested in any pain right now. Pain minimization was first and foremost tonight.

Pain was the worst. Pain sucked. Ramsey had had enough of that. He had a “look but don’t touch” policy happening. Maybe that would change. Maybe the right woman would make that change. The right smile, the right glance, the right joke. It could be anything. Anything could be right, given the right circumstance. He knew that. He allowed for that. Just not right now.

Candace was on the dance floor. Surrounded by the crowd. Absorbed in the motion and movement, part of the collective, robbed of individuality. She was drawn to the moment, drawn to becoming lost. Sweat dripping, her body sticking to her clothes. Warm flesh all around. A sea of strangers. She was surrounded but alone, and that’s the way she wanted it. Her mind shut down, her body in motion, not thinking, but instead reacting.

Move, feel the beat, feel, the rhythm, live the music.

She had dreams made of music. She could see the notes, from the inside. The sound waves wrapped around her. The music flowing in and out. She was a part of it, she was it. She could become music. The music was her and she was it. They were such beautiful and lonely dreams.

Candace didn’t notice Ramsey. She knew nothing of his gaze or his desires. Or his made up rules that prohibited him from supposedly feeling any of the things he was clearly feeling. She didn’t see or know anything about what the right circumstances were that he was waiting on, or that he was abiding by some foolhardy made up rules in the back of his mind. She didn’t know him and didn’t care and wasn’t there to make his life any easier.

She wasn’t there for him at all. She didn’t care about him. Why should she? She didn’t know him. How could she?

But there on the dance floor, for one brief split-second of a moment, she turned and looked and caught a glimpse. And she saw. Some guy. Cute. Stubble. Leaning against the bar with some friends. He was just some guy. She didn’t know. Didn’t care. But she sure as heck had some other sorts of instantaneous thoughts. But none of those were anywhere near the ballpark of his issues of love or abstinence or what was to be read into a first sight glancing. No, there was nothing clean or pure in her thoughts...

A nice clean smile with a nice scruffy face.

It was certainly a good enough place to start.

But that wasn’t why she was here. She wasn’t here for him or for any of the rest of them. She was here for herself. She was here to move and feel her body and free herself until she was worn and tired and exhausted. She wanted to sweat and feel her body grow weary. She wanted to escape the moment and feel freedom. She certainly didn’t need to feel wanted or to want or any of that.

She lost her smile, then turned and got lost in the crowd.

Eddie didn’t dance. He didn’t really care for the music, the moisture or the bar. But those weren’t important elements for him to have a good time. Eddie cared about the clientele. Eddie came for the booze and for the things the booze did to the girls that went to places like this. Eddie didn’t believe in love and he certainly didn’t believe in soulmates. He was only concerned with the here and now. Eddie was all about style over substance.

The girl was in a black dress. They always wore black dresses, thought Eddie. Of course he was in a shiny grey shirt with black slacks, so who was he to judge. Nightclub uniforms. At least in that way, they were a perfect match.

Eddie spotted Ramsey walking his way and gave him a half-drunken salute. Eddie was there to have fun. He was having fun.

“Ramsey!”

Ramsey nodded but didn’t respond to the challenge. Eddie was not happy. He was not giving up.

“Ramsey!”

Finally Ramsey acquiesced.

“Eddie!”

Eddie laughed and laughed. He loved Ramsey. Not his brother, but he was sure a comrade-in-arms. And if that didn’t make him a brother, then Eddie didn’t know what would.

“Where have you been?”

He put his arm around Ramsey and didn’t wait for an answer.

“This... This is Charlotte.”

Ramsey smiled and nodded.

“And Charlotte, this is my very best friend in the world, Ramsey. Best.”

“I was standing right here when you were yelling his name.”

“Yes you were,” Eddie agreed. “Yes she was,” he told Ramsey, as if Ramsey was somehow going to argue. “This one’s got jokes. Yes she does. A sharp tongue. But how sharp?”

“Play nice or you won’t find out.”

“Ouch. Again with the lip. Why so much lip on this one?”

“Nice to meet you,” Ramsey interjected.

“Ramsey is the best. The very best.”

“I don’t know who this guy is, but good luck.”

Eddie looked at Ramsey as if he had suddenly been betrayed.

“Jokes from this one too? I got jokers all around me. Everybody thinks they’re funny.”

“You certainly do,” Charlotte replied, deadpan.

Eddie pulled Ramsey close and a little off to one side.

“Charlotte tells me of a party. So we can get out of here. And we call up some of the other fellas. She says she’s got lots of friends. Lots.”

“I think I’m going to leave.”

“You... you’re not going anywhere.”

“You can’t stop me.”

“Don’t make me try.”

“You try and Charlotte might walk away.”

“Why? ...why do you put me in this position? Over and over and over? Impossible you are.”

“I’m not putting you in any position. I’m simply acting. What you do in reaction is entirely up to you.”

“Impossible.”

“Go talk to the girl.”

“Good advice. But don’t leave. Do something fun tonight. Something. You should do that more often.”

“You’re drinking too much.”

“Yes I am.”

Ramsey walked towards the door. He was going to go. What was the point of sticking around? It was only making him overthink things and added to his anxiety. What was he doing, he asked himself? Why was he worrying so much? Why was he thinking about this girl so much? He hadn’t even met her. He barely saw her. There was no reason to care so much. There was no reason to worry so much. He told himself that over and over as he walked towards the door. He didn’t have to impress anyone. Certainly not his idiot friends. All he had to do was get out of there and stop thinking so much. That was all he had to do.

Hilary left Candace alone on the dance floor and made her way across the room. Let Candace fend off men all night if she wanted to. Hilary was there to be a good friend, but she was in no mood to be bothered.

But she had seen one person in particular and it was bothering her a great deal. And it would continue to bother her unless she did something. And if she didn’t do it quick, then Candace might see this person and then they would all be bothered.

Michael sat at a table, looking out at the dance floor. He had seen Candace earlier, but he was pretty sure she hadn’t seen him. That was okay. He didn’t necessarily want to be seen tonight. He just wanted to see her. To keep an eye on her.

“You know, I'm really tired of seeing your car outside our place.”

Michael looked up. It was Hilary. He was not a fan of hers and she pretty much absolutely hated him.

“I just wanted to see her.”

“No. No, no. You don’t talk. You’re weird. You’re stalking her now. It’s creepy and you need to stop.”

“How is she? She knows I’m sorry, right?”

“We all know just how truly sorry you really are. But seriously, it’s over. Move on. Away from us. Away from our apartment building.”

“You can’t make me.”

“I can call the police.”

“Damn—Hil—It’s not like that. I’m not… I’m not doing anything wrong. I want to apologize. I want to make it up to her. I want another chance to get things right.”

“We don’t always get that chance.”

“Tell me what to say. Tell me I can fix this.”

Hilary laughed at him. It was a cold and brutal laugh. She had no regards for his feelings. She had no problem making him feel as small as possible.

“Stalk, stalk, stalker. Listen you pathetic little worm… Get a grip on reality and leave her the fuck alone.”

The room was packed with bodies. The dance floor was worse. Ramsey pushed his way through the crowd. He felt the rhythm of the music. He felt the beat. If flowed within him as he walked. Moving to the music gave him strength. It filled him with an air of unbridled confidence.

There she was, in the middle of the dance floor, oblivious to the motion around her.

Candace was in a zone all of her own. The music flowed out of her as her energy infected all those around her. She didn’t notice. She did notice any of them. They didn’t matter. There was no one there. No one mattered. She was alone in the universe. The center of existence. She was all there was and all there ever would be.

Then Ramsey tapped her on the shoulder.

“Hi.”

Candace opened her eyes. She pushed her wet hair back and wiped her brow. She turned to Ramsey and smiled. She recognized the cute face and the cute stubble from before.

Ramsey recognized that smile. It was a knowing smile, a smile that let him in on a little secret, the secret that she understood life, love and the universe in a way that other people never could or would. It was a smile for him. Or at least that’s what he thought.

The smile turned smirk as she summed him up. He was a bar hopper. A party boy. Probably had been in a frat once upon a time. He was a boy. She had had enough of boys and certainly had no need for him, despite what physical charms he might possess.

“Hello,” she said slowly, emphasizing the syllables. Hello was a word. Something adults said to each other. Hi was for children or the nervous people on the street. She was neither.

“Hello,” responded, not sure why, but aware that it was what he should do.

“Not interested.”

“You don’t know—”

“Yeah, doesn’t matter. I came here to dance. Alone. Not to be hit on by scuzzies.”

“Then dance with me.”

“Apparently suzzies that can’t hear so good. Alone. A-L-O-N-E.”

“Well played. You can be condescending and tell people off. Bravo. But you don’t know me and you don’t know what I’m about.”

“I’m not going to fight you. I don’t want to fight you. I don’t want to know you. I told you I wasn’t interested. I wasn’t asking you to be cute or persistent or to try to charm me or talk me into anything. I was asking politely for you to leave me alone. So be a man and not a boy and do what you should. Or next time I stop being polite.”

Ramsey took a step back. He didn’t understand what was happening or what he had done wrong.

“Life is no fun if you never take a chance. All I did was ask for one little dance. I’m not one of these other assholes lurking around this place. You have no idea.”

“Good speech. See you later.”

Candace walked away, leaving Ramsey to reevaluate the amount of faith he had previously placed in glances and first looks.

Hilary was crossing the dance floor and saw Candace walking the other way. She sped up and made a diagonal to intercept.

“Who was that?”

“Who?”

“The guy you were talking to?”

“That was nobody. Can we go?”

“Yes. God, yes. Let’s get out of here.”

“Are you alright?”

“Michael’s here.”

“What? Did he follow us? Is he following me?”

“Don’t worry, I already told him off. But we should take off anyway.”

“God, these fucking men. Such idiots.”

Candace and Hilary went outside and waited on the valet to flag down a taxi for them. Michael hadn’t had enough punishment for one night and decided to follow them. As he approached, Hilary saw him, stepped up and put her hand his in face.

“--Just give me a minute?”

“She doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“I made a mistake. I’m sorry.”

“She got your letters. And I read them. All of them. They’re pathetic. The voicemail – even more pathetic. The Emails are the worst. Stop now or they’re all going on the internet. But honestly, they’re probably all going on the internet anyway. In fact, some might already be there.”

“This really doesn’t involve you.”

“You made my best friend cry. This is ALL about me. You’re a freak, a geek, an out of shape, busted looking, loser. It’s time to let her be. You messed it up, it’s your fault. You can’t change

that. Time to say good-bye, micropenis.”

Hilary looked him up and down and paused on his crotch. Michael was a little uncomfortable and more than embarrassed.

Ramsey had stepped outside, not quite ready to give up on trying to meet this mystery girl. He didn’t know why she was so cold to him, but watching what was transpiring, he was beginning to have a pretty good guess.

“Are you alright?” he asked Candace.

“Don’t talk to me.”

“What? You... You don’t even know me.”

“That’s right. And I’m not going to.”

Ramsey stared, aghast. He gave it everything he had and tried to maintain his composure.

“I’m not this guy. I swear I’m not.”

A taxi pulled up. Hilary pulled Candace away from Ramsey and helped her into the back. Michael tried to grab Hilary’s arm, but Ramsey stopped him.

“Leave’em alone.”

“Fuck you. Who the fuck are you anyway?”

Hilary turned back and for a moment it seemed like she was going to punch Michael or Ramsey or both. She grabbed Michael’s car keys out of his hand and threw them into the middle of the street.

“Hey!”

Hilary flipped Michael off with both middle fingers.

“Drop dead fucker. And leave us the fuck alone.”

“Bitch!” Michael screamed as he tried to cross into traffic to recover his keys.

Ramsey just stood there, looking into the back window of the taxi cab.

Hilary got in and the driver began to pull out into traffic.

The taxi inched into the slow Saturday night Sunset Strip traffic jam and began to drive away. Ramsey stood there and waited. He looked at that window and it moved further and further way. He just kept looking. Smaller and smaller it got. He just stood there.

Even though the taxi was a block away and there was pretty much no chance he could tell what was happening inside, Ramsey was pretty sure he could see her face, as she peeked back to see if he was still watching. Or at least that was what he wanted to believe.

Ramsey didn’t believe in love at first sight. Despite all evidence that he certainly believed in something. He just wasn’t sure what it was and he was in no hurry to define things.

Eventually, Ramsey turned and walked back towards the club.